how is it that my daughter is just shy of 4 months and i'm already missing the days that she was a tiny little peanut that could fit in one arm as I nursed her?
let's be honest, the night feedings and constant screaming was not easy but i sure do miss her tiny little sleepy black eyes discovering her mama for the first time and a small little piece of me misses those dark and silent nights that i spent feeding her. she's now sleeping through the night, which feels like a downright victory. i've been hesitant to celebrate because i've heard that everything is two steps forward and one step back. i really hope the step back isn't less sleep at night because i really really really need my sleep to give me enough energy to get through the day. she nurses almost every hour, which as you can imagine, is super exhausting. i try to catch up on some reading when she goes to sleep at 8:30 but i just end up falling asleep too. and even though she sleeps until 7am, i still find myself waking up at 3, 5 and 6 just to make sure she's ok. last night both her daddy and i woke up because we heard her making a noise. turns out she was laughing in her sleep.
i suppose the joke is on us. silly girl.
this picture is one of my favorites from her earlier days. image courtesy of my sister.